36 weeks

Only a month to go until my due date, which I'm still hoping means more like 2 weeks, since I was 2 weeks early with Julian. I feel like my body is designed to labor at 38 weeks, since I can't imagine feeling any bigger or more uncomfortable than I do now. I chickened out of bringing up induction with my OB on Friday. I know she'll just say that there's no medical reason and offer me 39, and as anxious and antsy as I feel, I don't think I'd do a good job of convincing her to induce for emotional reasons. On the outside, I am the image of calm much of the time. At least that's how my reservation and "I'll exhale when the baby's here" attitude must come off to people who don't know me well or never bother to ask how I'm really doing. (As for how DH, a Brit, is doing--the World Cup and the Tour de France are providing convenient distractions. Need I say more?)

Everything went well with Dr. G. on Friday. I think she's starting to wonder if the weekly echos are doing us more harm than good, but the truth is, I like seeing her. She's reassuring, doesn't blow off our concerns, and uses Julian's name on a regular basis. Sure, I hate going to the hospital at 8:30am every Friday, but it sure is a good way to mark the time. We also had an interview with a pediatrician that afternoon, who we really liked. Not only is she affiliated with the hospital, but she knows Dr. G., uses email, and used to see my OB's kids before she moved to the 'burbs. Overall, a good match for us.

So, I'm off work until I return from maternity leave in October. I feel such a tremendous sense of relief that I decided to take vacation until my maternity leave starts. Not only is it better for my physical comfort, but for my emotional comfort as well. People were starting to ask questions. Or not. Which put me in a no-win situation. I was adamant that I didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions, and have been very protective and low-key about my pregnancy, but when it became obvious, it was also somewhat disconcerting to have people ignore it or give me strange looks or get all twitchy around me, but not say anything. (Deja vu? Reminds me of when I returned from my first maternity leave, sans baby). With the exception of a few close colleagues and friends, I didn't hear many "good lucks" or "take cares," but I did manage to sneak out the back door before things got really uncomfortable. More importantly, this time off is better for Natalie, who deserves to be prepared for in a way that I wasn't able to fully prepare for Julian. And she deserves to have a calm, emotionally sound mom who is 100% focused on her.