Sunday, July 02, 2006

36 weeks

Only a month to go until my due date, which I'm still hoping means more like 2 weeks, since I was 2 weeks early with Julian. I feel like my body is designed to labor at 38 weeks, since I can't imagine feeling any bigger or more uncomfortable than I do now. I chickened out of bringing up induction with my OB on Friday. I know she'll just say that there's no medical reason and offer me 39, and as anxious and antsy as I feel, I don't think I'd do a good job of convincing her to induce for emotional reasons. On the outside, I am the image of calm much of the time. At least that's how my reservation and "I'll exhale when the baby's here" attitude must come off to people who don't know me well or never bother to ask how I'm really doing. (As for how DH, a Brit, is doing--the World Cup and the Tour de France are providing convenient distractions. Need I say more?)

Everything went well with Dr. G. on Friday. I think she's starting to wonder if the weekly echos are doing us more harm than good, but the truth is, I like seeing her. She's reassuring, doesn't blow off our concerns, and uses Julian's name on a regular basis. Sure, I hate going to the hospital at 8:30am every Friday, but it sure is a good way to mark the time. We also had an interview with a pediatrician that afternoon, who we really liked. Not only is she affiliated with the hospital, but she knows Dr. G., uses email, and used to see my OB's kids before she moved to the 'burbs. Overall, a good match for us.

So, I'm off work until I return from maternity leave in October. I feel such a tremendous sense of relief that I decided to take vacation until my maternity leave starts. Not only is it better for my physical comfort, but for my emotional comfort as well. People were starting to ask questions. Or not. Which put me in a no-win situation. I was adamant that I didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions, and have been very protective and low-key about my pregnancy, but when it became obvious, it was also somewhat disconcerting to have people ignore it or give me strange looks or get all twitchy around me, but not say anything. (Deja vu? Reminds me of when I returned from my first maternity leave, sans baby). With the exception of a few close colleagues and friends, I didn't hear many "good lucks" or "take cares," but I did manage to sneak out the back door before things got really uncomfortable. More importantly, this time off is better for Natalie, who deserves to be prepared for in a way that I wasn't able to fully prepare for Julian. And she deserves to have a calm, emotionally sound mom who is 100% focused on her.

8 comments:

laura said...

you seem to be doing great, all things considered. i'm glad for you to be off work and also insanely jealous; i don't want to take off until d-day because every day i take before delivery is one less day i can have after, with milo, but i would love to be done with the stress of work for the duration. enjoy your prep time!

Emma's Mum said...

I just wanted to thank you for your note on my blog re: thank you notes. I did actually see your announcement a few months ago when I first started reading your blog -- and thought about creating something similar. I thought it was so touching. And the picture is beautiful.
I am happy that you are finished with work and can concentrate on yourself and Natalie. I know that we don't really know each other (in a normal sort of way), but I am truly wishing the very best for you in the next few weeks....you deserve it so much. Thank you for your continued support and kindness.

sillyhummingbird said...

Wow--2 to 4 weeks! I can't wait to hear the great news of Natalie's arrival! And isn't being done with work great? School has been out of session now for about a week and I love being able to nap at any given time. Enjoy the next few weeks!

kate said...

That is great -- you will meet her so soon! And to be off work is an excellent thing. Email me, i have something for her. kate_baloh (at) yahoo (dot) com

lorem ipsum said...

Congratulations, and looking forward to the next few weeks. (Oh, and the World Cup's almost over, so then you might get a straight answer from Dr. H. Although it's over for England...)

Jillian said...

Alysse, I daresay you will need some extra time to console your poor husband LOL. I had to wrestle the St George's cross off mine after he wanted to tear it to bits:)

It's wonderful that you are so near the end and that you even appear to remain calm is a feat of strength in itself. Many peaceful naps to you over the next couple of weeks!

Clare said...

at our house, we're doing the World Cup, The Tour de France and Wimbledom. sheesh.
Like everyone has already said, I'm glad you're off work already and have that time as time for you and Natalie and DH.
and like Kate said, I also have got something small to send you for Natalie. I live in Melbourne so it will need 2 weeks shipping. My email is clare_fs (at) yahoo (dot) com (dot) au
and take care these last few weeks. thinking of you.

Clare said...

Hi Alysse,
THanks for the message. I just tried emailing you but your email also bounced because you're out of the office now/on materity leave :)
I don't know why my email address bounced but often o/s people forget to put the au bit on the end (.com.au). au standing for Australia!
I used to be blogging under The Ockers but had to close that blog down after being discovered by real-life people. I felt so mortified knowing they had read about my feeling of having a stillborn son and IF issues. I still haven't found my feet on the new blog ThreeMinutePalaver. I will start writing again someday but I'm strung out a little right now. I'm an artist by profession and I have an exhibition in September that's keeping me very busy lately.
anyway, I have been reading and following your blog since before you got pregnant with Natalie. Mostly as The Ockers and now as ThreeMinutePalaver. and I am wishing you ALL the luck in the world that everything goes right this time for you and Natalie.
I bought something to send you for Natalie on the same day I went shopping for Laura's little Milo. All I need is a postal address and 2 weeks shipping time!
thinking of you,
Clare