Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Goodbye, 2006 (and 2005 and 2004)

Can I just say how relieved I am that 2006 is over? I was pregnant for some part of 2004, 2005, and 2006, which feels like I was pregnant for an entire three years. (And from all the hormonal and physical changes, you'd believe me if I told you I was, but that's another story).
I am so thankful that Natalie is here, but I still feel like I am recuperating from a tremendous trauma. I'm working on it, but I also know that these feelings are likely to remain with me, at least to some degree. For better and for worse, I am different than I was in 2003 in profound ways. Here's to living with who I am now, in 2007. I am so grateful to all my blogger friends for accompanying me along this often painful and more recently joyful journey, and I am honored to join you in anticipating better times ahead for you and your families.


three minute palaver said...

Alysse, you HAVE been through tremendous trauma and I think it's good you are still recuperating. 3 years being pregnant and dealing with the loss of Julian is unimaginably difficult. And you've handled yourself so well to boot. You're one classy lady. Wishing you and Robert and Natalie a wonderful, exciting 2007.

Aussie Kate said...

I hope that 2007 is a special one for you all. I hope that your journey towards healing continues gently. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, it is an honour. Checking your blog and seeing pics of the delicious Natalie always brightens my day. And I just realised her boxing day pic is actually a movie I could watch - how adorable!!

Jill said...

I can empathise with how you feel. I was pregnant through most of 2003, lost my son in 2004, got pregnant in Dec 2004 and was pregnant through the first part of 2005, lost that one, then got pregnant again in Nov 2005 and was pregnant through most of 2006. This is the first year in the last four that I am not thinking of pregnancy.

I hope 2007 brings you lots of joy with Natalie, and some peace while you remember Julian. I find it ... complicated ... to remember and grieve Alex while enjoying my life with Athena. It's always good to see photos of Natalie, though. :-)

niobe said...

I understand your feelings -- a little, I think.

My twins are gone (one stillborn, the other dying shortly after birth). It's hard to believe that they are never coming back.

Even more unfortnately, in my religious tradition (Jewish), my twins are not in heaven or angels or even waiting for me in the afterlife. They're simply gone, lying still and silent under the frozen ground


Rosamunde said...

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