TurboTax and Uncle Sam

Last year, we were able to proudly declare Julian on our federal tax return, since he was born alive within the calendar year. (As if mothers of stillborn babies don't feel cheated enough, the federal government acknowledges parents whose baby lived long enough to breathe at least one breath, but not those who carried a baby to term and lost him or her prior to, or even during childbirth). I obviously knew that we wouldn't be able to claim him again this year, but I didn't expect filing my taxes to be the emotional chore that it was.

I was filing our joint taxes using TurboTax last night in the kitchen while DH was cooking dinner, and one of the first questions that came up on the screen was something like "You claimed Julian as a dependent last year. Is this information accurate for this year?" I knew I would have to say no, but my only option was to click the "Delete" button to erase the entry from this year's return. DH was reading over my shoulder and asked if I was okay--he saw this coming. I thought I would be okay, but having to physically click the "Delete" button on my son's life was momentarily traumatic. I know DH was affected by it, too. A small part of me expected there to be a pop up window asking me to explain my action. But the system didn't ask, "What happened?" or "Did your child die?" or offer "I'm sorry for your loss." It just deleted Julian from its memory. Computers (and the IRS) can be downright cruel.