There's a first time for everything

Firstly, thanks to everyone out there in Bloglandia for having my back with regard to my last post. I don't know how I would have made it this far, nor would I like to imagine how I would make it through these next several months without you all!

So, last night I was invited, along with a few of my fellow alumni, to a small dinner gathering of students from our alma mater who are here in the city this week for a brief internship program.
When I first got the invitation, my gut reaction was, "Oh no, a gathering of strangers. What if someone asks if I have children?" I quickly dismissed that thought as irrational, as did DH. After all, why on earth would some stranger ask me such a question, especially out of context?

Well, guess what? Someone asked. And as I pondered the many possible responses to that question in my mind (one, one and a half, two, but...), what came of my mouth was, "Uhhhh........no." It was a little awkward, but not nearly as traumatic as I imagined it would be. I only had that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach for about a minute afterward.

In the past year or so, I have never been faced with the need to deny Julian's existence, and when the topic has come up on discussion boards, etc., I could never imagine a situation where I would feel comfortable replying, "No, I don't have any children," or "Yes, this is my first pregnancy." In the past when I have been asked, I have always replied honestly, even if I knew it would make the other person uncomfortable or bring me to tears. My response last night just felt more comfortable at the time, and I didn't feel guilty about it, just a little sad.

Oh, and then someone passed around a photo of her baby girl, which I wasn't expecting either. I didn't look. I guess there's just no getting away from this stuff, even in situations in which you would least expect it to come up. Sigh.